Originally published in Olivet Nazarene University January 2018 Partner Newsletter

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By: Gia Suggs EdD, MPH, MA & Hayward Suggs, MS, MBA

Back in the early 2000s, women began to revisit a new kind of feminism through writers like Sheryl Sandberg (2013) in her book Lean In and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2014), We Should All Be Feminists. A couple of the prominent issues facing women continue to be compensation and promotion.

It is estimated that women currently earn approximately 81 cents to every male’s dollar (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2012). This, despite the 1963 United States Equal Pay Act requiring employers to pay equitable wages for the same work irrespective of race, color, religion, national origin, or sex and the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act, President Obama signed in 2009 allowing victims of pay discrimination to file a complaint with the government against their employer.

There are many factors that impact compensation and promotion, including sexism and cultural expectation regarding families. These are huge social issues. That said, the average woman sitting in front of a potential employer is not trying to figure out how to dismantle centuries old social constructs, she is trying to figure out how to ask for what she thinks she deserves, and actually get her employer to agree to it.

Many years ago, during a compensation and benefits training, the facilitator handed out an article. It told the story of two employees that had been just hired, a male and a female. The male received a signing bonus. When the women found out, she was upset. She was as qualified as her colleague and willing to work just as hard. She believed they were valuing him more, and found the courage to tell the hiring manager how she felt. The hiring manager explained that her colleague received the bonus because he asked. Fortunately, this story had a happy ending. She too was given the bonus and likely learned an important lesson.

I thought about this story while I was doing research for my recent book, Shattering the Glass Ceiling; How to Break Through Without Breaking Down (Suggs & Suggs, 2017). Was this story just antidotal, or was there really something to this? Here is what I learned.

According to PayScale’s Salary Negotiation Guide, 75% of people who ask for a raise will get it (Taylor, 2015). Unfortunately, women are four times less likely than men to ask for one (Ludden, 2011).

According to PayScale’s Salary Negotiation Guide:

 31% admitted they were uncomfortable negotiating

 18% said they did not want to be perceived as pushy

 8% worried they would lose their job

 7% said they were happy with their salary

Choosing to negotiate won’t solve all of the social woes relevant to the pay gap, but I’d say it is a very important start. Our unwillingness to negotiate typically costs women promotions, advancement opportunities, and more than half a million dollars in earnings over the course of their professional lives (Babcock & Lascever, 2007).

Some studies suggest that women choose not to negotiate because they believe they will be viewed negatively. In essence, we won’t be “liked”. If we engage in an

intense and highly spirited negotiation, perhaps we will seem too aggressive, pushy, or unpleasant. For many, this emotional content is enough to deter them from negotiating.

Take a moment and consider how do you feel about asking for money? Be very honest with yourself. How do you think these feelings impact your ability to negotiate?

If I may, I would like to share one of my personal experiences:

I had just been offered a job I was extremely excited about. This opportunity was too important to rely on my own ability, so I sought the support of Hayward, a compensation and negotiation coach with Commonquest Consulting.

The first offer was well below my expectations. Hayward instructed that I ask for a bit more than I actually thought I deserved, and for additional concessions, several of which were not really important to me.

The company and I went back and forth over several conversations. Each time, I was instructed to concede an item or two from my “not really important to me” list, for something that was important to them.

Each time I went back to the negotiation table I thought, “They are going to think I am a difficult person to work with and withdraw the offer!” Hayward continued to send me back to the table with one instruction … “Ask”. Not just any ask. A strategic “Ask”. An ask based on my current list of requests, wins, and concessions. This went on for a few weeks, during which I did not sleep thinking, perhaps my hard-hitting negotiation tactics would cost me the job.

Finally! After consulting with department leadership and getting special HR consideration, they agreed to a highly favorable compensation package.

All of my hard work had paid off.

I was really excited when I called my coach to share the great news. You can

only imagine my amazement when he instructed me NOT to accept.

I felt nauseous.

He instructed me to make one additional request. (Note: this was an item high on my “wish” list). I tried to explain that they had already made special considerations for me and that they would never agree to this request. I was told, “Ask.”

They would surely think I was an unreasonable person and withdraw the offer.

I decided I would use this experience as an experiment. If they withdrew the offer, I would be really disappointment but, I was negotiating from a position of strength as, I was already employed. I wanted to see, was my coach right, or was my gut right.

So, I asked.

I told the employer, if they agree to this last request, I would accept immediately without further negotiation.

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone…. I held my breath the entire pause. Finally, I heard a voice on the other end of the line say, “Done.” I could not believe it!

During my first week with my new company, they disclosed that they had reasoned, “If this is how she negotiates with us, consider how valuable she will be when she is negotiating for us.”

This was an eye-opening moment.

I learned from that experience that negotiating isn’t distasteful or unattractive. It is the exact opposite. It is VERY attractive to employers. I also learned that negotiating is not only appropriate, but is expected. I have respectfully and strategically, yet fiercely and intensely, negotiated every opportunity since.

I asked Hayward to share a few negotiating tips for this article:

1. Choose to negotiate!
2. Research the compensation range for the position in your region.
3. Create a list of must haves, like to haves, and things you can ask for but you
4. could really live without (these are your concessions).

Keep in mind, negotiating is not just about asking. It requires a well-thought-out strategy. What do you know about the organization and its culture? What are reasonable expectations based on the position, industry, and region? A sales job in Tupelo, Mississippi will have a different negotiation range then the exact same positon in Manhattan, New York.

There are certainly additional factors that impact negotiations and potential outcomes. I will admit, mainstream or conventional tactics do not always work for women. For example, sometimes aggression can be counterproductive for women however, reducing the aggression does not mean abandoning the negotiation. This may mean negotiating fiercely, but graciously.

Comprehensive instruction about compensation negotiations could consume an entire book, a task I plan to complete over the next year. But hopefully, this has been enough to spark your interest about the topic, and challenged you to think about negotiating a little differently than you may have in the past.

For additional negotiating tactics:

Hayward Suggs, MBA, MS is a solo consultant and executive coach. He is an innovative leader in performance management, concentrating in organization development interventions, executive and managerial coaching, training, signature event speech coaching, negotiations support, and team performance improvement. Mr. Suggs is a salary and compensation coach.

Gia Suggs, EdD, MPA, MA is an Organization Development Consultant. She manages a private practice and is a Distinguished Adjunct Professor at Olivet Nazarene University located in Bourbonnais, Illinois. Dr. Gia is also the author of Onboarding; Maximizing the Success of New Employees & Shattering the Glass Ceiling; How to Break Through Without Breaking Down (both available on Amazon.com).

We would love to hear from you! Please submit your comments, questions, and feedback. Let us know how we are doing. Want to connect with Dr. Gia? Click HERE to request information.

Reference List:

Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2012, January 10). “Women’s Earnings as a Percent of Men’s in 2010.” Retrieved from United States Bureau of Labor Statistics: http://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2012/ted_20120110.htm

Ludden, J. (2011). “Ask for a Raise? Most Women Hesitate.” Retrieved from NPR: http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133599768/ask-for-a-raise-most-women-hesitate

Sandberg, S. (2013). Lean in: Women, work, and the will to lead. New York Alfred A. Nkopf. Ngozi Adichie, C. (2014), We Should All Be Feminists. New York: Random House LLC.

Suggs, G. & Suggs, H. (2017). Shattering the glass ceiling: How to break through without breaking down. St. Charles, IL, BFP Books.

Taylor, B. (2015). “Why Women Don’t Negotiate Salary, and What to Do about It.” Retrieved from PayScale: http://www.payscale.com/career-news/2015/02/why-women-don’t-negotiate-salary-and-what-to-do-about-it