In my teens, not only was I intensely introverted, I also suffered from social anxiety. I still do. This was a closely guarded secret, primarily because, I did not understand what was wrong with me. One year, the lunchroom felt particularly paralyzing, so I took refuge in the library and did not eat lunch that school year.
What’s interesting is, I have stood on a stage in front of over 3000 people and, minus a few butterflies, felt completely at ease.
Yet, the moment the applause starts, so does the discomfort. My nervous system knows that the accolades from the crowd are an indication that my descent from the stage into the sea of waiting people, is eminent.
I begin clutching the podium. It’s difficult to breath. I feel dread or terror … or something ….
I want to sprint towards the exit. Of course, I am not completely inconsiderate.
I would totally, send a thank you note;
Most people have “stage fright.” I have whatever the opposite of that is …
I used to lament my unfortunate fate. I mean really, who hyperventilates walking into their own church on Sunday morning? To avoid what I termed “excessive engagement” my attendance usually fell somewhere between the “greet your neighbor” at the start of the service and “shake hands with someone before you leave” at the end. What can I say, pray for me.
I felt like Paul. Paul had a “thorn in his flesh.” The bible never explained what the “thorn” was. But like Paul, I felt tormented. Like Paul, I pleaded that the Lord would take it away. And like Paul, God’s grace has had to be sufficient (2 Corinthians 12).
I have often wondered how certain individuals are able to unearth a reserve of strength and resilience when seemingly, so much is working against them. After all, understanding the tenets of human performance is how I eat.
There are many evidence-based explanations including worthwhile work (Blanchard, 1998), the impact of leadership (Northouse, 2007), protective factors (Bell, n.d.), 10,000-hour rule (Gladwell, 2008) (which has recently come under some scrutiny but, that’s another story).
I think the one that strikes me the most in this scenario, is the impact of flaws. To be clear, a flaw is different from a weakness. A weakness, you can improve; a flaw, you cannot (Goldsmith, 2011). For example, I have a family member who is dyslexic. She can volunteer to calculate the tip for the check 100 times, but she will always see $115.00 instead of $150.00. Practice won’t improve her performance. She can either spend fruitless time trying to get better or, she can simply buy a calculator. Buying a calculator is what we call a “work-around.”
This is a pretty simplistic example but, many professionals have flaws. If you pause and honestly self-reflective for a moment, you will likely be able to identify yours. The more difficult the flaw, the more determination, creativity, and sheer resolve it takes to implement an effective work-around.
People who are able to overcome complex personal challenges, are able to overcome a lot of other challenges too!
Identifying and employing work-arounds is a skill. A skill is something that can be done extremely well. For many, without their flaw, their most valuable skill may have never been developed.
Sometimes, the flaw or professional challenge you face isn’t the thing that is hindering your success, it is the very reason for your success!
How can an intensely introverted individual with social anxiety be a professional speaker and presenter? Easy …
Ok, that’s not exactly true. HA!
What does the person do who avoids social interactions, but their job requires them to interact and connect?
They LEARN how to be highly engaging for maximum impact. They refine their ability to deliver a singular message that can influence both an 8th grader and a college professor simultaneously. They master the art of humor. They become an expert at interpreting both verbal and non-verbal cues. They cultivate these skills in a deliberate and intentional way, that most others don’t have to.
Don’t disparage your flaw. It may be the key that unlocks your hidden potential. As you mine for a work-around, you may actually unearth something amazing.
Gia Suggs, MPA, MA, EdD is an Organization Development Consultant. She manages a private practice and is a Distinguished Adjunct Professor at Olivet Nazarene University located in Bourbonnais, Illinois. Dr. Gia is also the author of Onboarding; Maximizing the Success of New Employees & Shattering the Glass Ceiling; How to Break Through Without Breaking Down (both available on Amazon.com).
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