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Saying “No”

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Cari Romm (2016) wrote an interesting article for NYMag.com called,“Here’s the Most Effective Way to Say No to Things You Don’t Want to Do.”  We really liked it so we decided to share it with you!

Saying “No” can sometimes be more difficult than anticipated. We often like to avoid ending up feeling bad or guilty for letting someone down, even if it’s at the expense of pushing our own boundaries or comfort levels.  Most of us don’t want to come off as unhelpful, or be “the bad guy.”  Regretfully saying “yes” seems like the easy way out.

With the new year upon us, why not put into practice an effective way to say “no” without the added discomfort.

According to the article on NYMag.com, “Here’s the Most Effective Way to Say No to Things You Don’t Want to Do“ (Romm, 2016);

The key to a guilt-free “no” is to choose your words wisely.

Cari Romm states that the word “don’t” is more powerful than using the word “can’t.”  Using “don’t” lessens the chances of future reversal of your original statement.

She uses the example of “I don’t answer emails on Saturday nights,” versus saying “I can’t answer emails on Saturday nights.” 

Using “don’t” can make your response a personal stance, rather than a momentary feeling.
I definitely think that the statement including “don’t” carries less wiggle-room than the word “can’t.” Using “don’t” can make your response a strong personal stance, rather than a momentary feeling or temporary opposition to someone’s request.

And who can argue with that?

I can’t … opps, “I don’t.”

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Dr. Gia Consulting

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Interview with Valerie Bowman

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We are always excited to welcome Mr. Hayward Suggs, as a guest writer for our blog.  If you missed it, check out his article An Oscar Story where he highlights the Oscar-winning film Hidden Figures and proclaims that

“workforce diversity isn’t rocket science.”Hayward Suggs, MBA

Thank you, Mr. Suggs, for introducing us to Ms. Valerie Bowman. We appreciate your continued contributions and support.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Ms. Valerie Bowman, who has been sharing her wealth building, financial planning expertise with her clients for over 15 years. Ms. Bowman is a financial advisor, an award winning motivational speaker, and author.  She recently unveiled her dynamic new book, Anatomy of a Pay Check; Thinking Beyond Your Initial Paycheck to Financial Independence. Hayward Suggs, MBA

Hayward: What are some of your favorite books and which authors have inspired you?

Valerie: Les Brown’s “Live Your Dreams” and Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” have been huge influences on me.

Hayward: How did you come up with the idea for your book?

Valerie: I wanted to make sure that the people in my life didn’t repeat the financial mistakes of our past; I wanted to empower them to make clear, educated choices and understand that making good financial decisions goes beyond just making and managing money.

Hayward: How did you come up with the title of your book?

Valerie: The title “Anatomy of a Paycheck” came to me a couple of years ago when I saw others get their paychecks and they continued to be shocked at the amount of money they actually brought home. I didn’t want the next generation to fall into the same traps as our generation. They think that they’ve earned a huge increase only to realize they just received an extra $22 on their check.

Hayward: What is the main thing you want readers to take away from your book?

Valerie: The main concept I want for my readers to take away is; to embrace and understand that a mindset of success can move you from the cubicle to the corner office with a view, or to entrepreneurship.

Hayward: Is there anything about the financial world that you think is generally misunderstood?

Valerie: People do the right thing by investing their money into a 401K plan but it is not until they retire that they realize they must pay taxes on all of that money. I want the next generation to have more options. In my book, you will learn that tax-deferred plus tax-free equals a happy retirement.

Hayward: If someone is brand new to the world of finance, what books would you recommend they start with? 

Valerie: I would recommend my book “Anatomy of a Paycheck: Understanding Your Paycheck, Managing Your Paycheck, Thinking Beyond Your Paycheck to Financial Independence” and “Get Your Share:  A Guide to Striking It Rich in the Stock Market” by Julie Stav. This book really helped inform my learning.

Hayward: What are your future projects?

Valerie: As a matter of fact, I am planning my next book. It will focus on entrepreneurship for baby boomers and will include detailed financial reality stories that many readers will be able to relate to.

Hayward: How can readers get more information about you and your work?

Valerie:

Hayward: What was the best thing about writing this book?

Valerie: I enjoyed writing the book very much. It just flowed. Submitting it to editing was an entirely different world, whoa! Other than that, I really enjoyed the whole process.

Hayward: What was your favorite chapter to write and why?

Valerie: I love my book. I really liked the part where I discuss the reality of your salary. I also enjoyed writing about your current financial success and because it talks about the journey towards financial independence.

Hayward: Do you have any final thoughts on financial success?

Valerie Bowman: I would like for people to be able to recognize when they’ve reached financial success. I would like to see them make huge philanthropic contributions. It isn’t always about investments.

We would love to hear from you!  Please submit your comments, questions, and feedback.  Let us know how we are doing.

Dr. Gia Consulting

Want to connect with Dr. Gia? Click HERE to request information.

Who Doesn’t Want to be Successful

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Who doesn’t want to be successful? I think the desire for success, in our careers or in our personal lives, is something that most of us have in common.  Yet, the path to success can be quite challenging.

Leila Hoteit hosts a TedTalk on her “3 Lessons on Success.”  Leila grew up in Lebanon with a successful Father and a Stay-at-Home Mother.  She left home at the age of 18 to study abroad and ended up earning her Bachelors and PhD in Electrical Engineering –  a feat not commonly attempted by women of her generation or culture.  From her experiences, Leila shares her top 3 lessons that she believes helped her to achieve such a high level of success.

Lesson One: “Convert your shit into your fuel.”

Leila’s point with this lesson is resilience; and she defines resilience with the statement above.  Resilience is one of those abilities that we need to be conscious of.  You can choose to internalize the negative messages that others direct at you; let them eat away at your thoughts and make you feel as though success is unachievable, or you can see others’ issues as their issues and not your own.

Be happy, it drives people crazy.Leila Hoteit

Lesson Two: “Work your life to keep work out of your life.”

What is the point in being successful if you’re not happy?  Managing your personal and family life with work is vital.  A simple way for Leila to accomplish such a difficult task is by applying her professional skills to her personal life.  Through careful selection and personal empowerment, a nanny or childcare center can manage a lot of your at-home duties while you are away.  Leila also ensures that she allots time out of each day to spend as “family time.”  Removing distractions allows you to be in the present and make memories, while leaving work out it.

Lesson Three: “Join forces, don’t compete.”

This lesson is my personal favorite.  Leila explains how important networking was, and is, to her current success.  So often we feel the need to compete with others in our own success; putting others down, keeping success secrets to ourselves, being glad when others fail.  When in reality, the path to success is much more difficult on our own than it would be if we had just a little help.  You will be surprised at how far you can get when you lift others up.  Making others successful is a crucial key to your own success.

Everyone’s path to success if different, but applying Leila’s “3 Lessons on Success” along the way might just make it a little easier.

LogophotoWe would love to hear from you!  Please submit your comments, questions, and feedback.  Let us know how we are doing.

Dr. Gia Consulting

Want to connect with Dr. Gia? Click <HERE> to request information.

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